April 10, 2008 Surprise Visit

Yes, it is official....I need rest! I feel like I just had surgery yesterday and I am buckled over with pain. Today I sat by her bedside and did not get up unless it was absolutely necessary. I ate snacks, read my book, filled out paperwork, texted friends, and even pumped in my rocking chair next to Kaydence. I only got up for lunch, to use the restroom, and to put my milk in the freezer. Everyone should be proud of me! lol

It was really hard to look at Kaydence today. My emotions are over-flowing because all the adrenaline is wearing off. I cried off and on all day, and it was very embarrassing. It didn't matter what it was, I would cry about it. I am even tearing up just typing about it right now...lol...oh my--the joys of hormones! Kaydence took at least 4 steps back since her little episode yesterday. She is completely limp and unresponsive. She won't hold our fingers and won't even wiggle her little toes today. Her breathing is what upsets us the most because she is extremely tipkitnic. Her ribs are moving up and down so fast that they look like they are stretchy rubber bands.

They had her incubator closed up and had a blanket over top of it all day. That was good for me so I didn't have to look at her like that. I would peak in every hour to let her know I was there, but I couldn't look at her too long. Larry didn't stay by her bedside much at all today...that is how he coped with her regression, and that's okay.

Update:
She now has jaundice, and was on bili lights all day
They think she got an infection from her relapse. (took her blood to test it)
They started her on antibiotics just in case it is an infection
Two more dirty diapers
Lots of sleeping today so she can heal her body
Unstable respiration and saturation's all day

**I got a huge surprise later in the evening that made my day all better! Larry peaks around the corner and tells me that he had a surprise for me...and around comes my baby girl Kaylee! I was in complete shock and apparently starting saying "that's my daughter!". I barely remember what happened for probably the first 10 minutes because I just couldn't believe that she was with me. Izzy, Todd, and Larry had been planning this for days...and I was clueless. I can't explain how full my heart was with joy that I could have all of us together. Izzy and I cried together and shared lots of great hugs of celebration.

Kaylee got to take her sister's temperature and change a diaper. Yes, Kaydence gave her a poopy one to change too! lol. Larry and I were amazed at how calm and stabilized the baby was when Kaylee touched her. As soon as Kaylee touched her head...her saturation's and respiration went right where they should have been all day. We were elated to see them finally have the chance to bond. The nurse took her bili mask off her eyes during the diaper change, and Kaydence even gave her the pirate eye to check Kaylee out. It was so precious.