Yes, it is official....I need rest! I feel like I just had surgery yesterday and I am buckled over with pain. Today I sat by her bedside and did not get up unless it was absolutely necessary. I ate snacks, read my book, filled out paperwork, texted friends, and even pumped in my rocking chair next to Kaydence. I only got up for lunch, to use the restroom, and to put my milk in the freezer. Everyone should be proud of me! lol
It was really hard to look at Kaydence today. My emotions are over-flowing because all the adrenaline is wearing off. I cried off and on all day, and it was very embarrassing. It didn't matter what it was, I would cry about it. I am even tearing up just typing about it right now...lol...oh my--the joys of hormones! Kaydence took at least 4 steps back since her little episode yesterday. She is completely limp and unresponsive. She won't hold our fingers and won't even wiggle her little toes today. Her breathing is what upsets us the most because she is extremely tipkitnic. Her ribs are moving up and down so fast that they look like they are stretchy rubber bands.
They had her incubator closed up and had a blanket over top of it all day. That was good for me so I didn't have to look at her like that. I would peak in every hour to let her know I was there, but I couldn't look at her too long. Larry didn't stay by her bedside much at all today...that is how he coped with her regression, and that's okay.
Update:
She now has jaundice, and was on bili lights all day
They think she got an infection from her relapse. (took her blood to test it)
They started her on antibiotics just in case it is an infection
Two more dirty diapers
Lots of sleeping today so she can heal her body
Unstable respiration and saturation's all day
**I got a huge surprise later in the evening that made my day all better! Larry peaks around the corner and tells me that he had a surprise for me...and around comes my baby girl Kaylee! I was in complete shock and apparently starting saying "that's my daughter!". I barely remember what happened for probably the first 10 minutes because I just couldn't believe that she was with me. Izzy, Todd, and Larry had been planning this for days...and I was clueless. I can't explain how full my heart was with joy that I could have all of us together. Izzy and I cried together and shared lots of great hugs of celebration.
Kaylee got to take her sister's temperature and change a diaper. Yes, Kaydence gave her a poopy one to change too! lol. Larry and I were amazed at how calm and stabilized the baby was when Kaylee touched her. As soon as Kaylee touched her head...her saturation's and respiration went right where they should have been all day. We were elated to see them finally have the chance to bond. The nurse took her bili mask off her eyes during the diaper change, and Kaydence even gave her the pirate eye to check Kaylee out. It was so precious.
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4 comments:
Kristen, Larry & Kaydence,
We are praying for you and for a healing for Kaydence. I know you must be afraid but remember to continue your trust in the Lord: Whenever I am afraid,
I will trust in You.
In God (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not fear.
God is watching over you and Kaydence and will pull her through.
Love, Kristie, Keith & girls
Hey Kristen & Larry-
The Blair party of 5 has your party of 4 in our prayers daily. I check you blog over and over to see if there is more news. . .so that we can be praying specifically for your beautiful daughter's needs. Take things 1 day at a time, do not think about the future - God already has that taken care of - He just needs you guys to love that precious miracle He gave you! Instead of worrying - turn your thoughts into prayer - when I was at a very scary moment with my dad's stroke months ago - a friend told me to read this scripture over and over - it worked - it gave me peace and I hope it gives you the same. I like the Message Bible version for Phillipians 4:6-7 Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
We love you guys!
The Blairs - Rob, Mary Beth, Robby, Brady and Lexy
WOW! WOW! Through the tears, that's all I could say as we looked at that perfect little body last night after looking at the pics the nurse had taken just before her surgery. WOW!
Kristen, I know you and Larry are going through a host of emotions and riding some wild and ridiculous rollercoaster, thrown forwards and backwards ~ but hold fast to the knowledge that God is still in control even when it's chaotic around you ~ when you can't sleep, when you're overcome with crying, when you're slipping on grease on the garage floor while getting hit upside the head, when you think somebody's come and ripped off the Walmart bag from your doorknob (lol), when Larry can't stop looking at the stats screen or checking the nurses notes, and the nurses all looking like they're 13 years old!! Even when all of that and more is around you, God still surrounds you! There's the comfort! What's AROUND can be beared because it is a God of Peace that SURROUNDS you!
So, when it's all crazy again, sit still, SIT STILL, THAT MEANS SIT DOWN AND SIT STILL!...(lol) ... and seek Him, He IS surrounding you and wants to give you peace.
Seeing Kaydence was so overwhelming to me in acknowledging her miraculous existence! You were indeed hand chosen to be her mom and dad! The faith and encouragement you carry through this journey will sustain you. Truly!
Seeing you all interact with Kaylee was priceless, too! What a family! And yes, it was the coolest thing to see Kaydence immediately settle down as Kaylee touched and interacted with her! Soul Sister Connection right then!
WOW! WOW!
Ruff,
Emily and I are looking at your pictures, reading you blogs and thinking about your family. You stay in our thoughts everyday and we want you to know we are rooting for you, Kristen, Kaylee and your beautiful baby Kaydence. Ruff keep your head up and know that I am here for you whenever you need me.
love
Matt and Emily
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