April 4, 2008 Surgery Day

Larry and I were at Washington County Hospital eating breakfast when we got a phone call from Dr. Kanard, a Pediactric Surgeon at Children's in DC. He said that there was a cancellation in his schedule and he wanted permission to prep Kaydence for surgery immediately. I really wanted to be there to see her before her surgery, but Larry said to let them go ahead with it.

I immediately jumped out of bed, got a shower, and told the hospital that I wanted to leave so I could be there when she got out of her surgery. They kept reminding me that I just had major surgery and to take it easy. If Kaydence wasn't scheduled for surgery, I would have stayed in that hospital for as long as they would've let me....but I have more than myself to worry about right now. They wrote me a prescription for pain, and sent Larry and I on our way.

Larry has been driving all across Maryland and West Virginia for two days now, and he is just as tired as I am...if not more and suffering from severe migranes and insomnia. I will not be able to drive for at least a month...so he is taking on that responsibility with stride.

She was in surgery for over 5 hours and we got to the NICU shortly after she got back from the operating room. This was the first time I really got the chance to see my little baby girl, and it took my breath away. She was so small, and had wires, tubes, and needles all over her. But the best thing of all....she had a diaper on! The diaper was the smallest they had, and it swallowed her. They took the diaper off and let us see how they re-shaped her vagina and rectum. It was perfect, and we were really shocked that she looked so good. At birth, her vagina was where her belly button should have been, and her rectum was where her vagina was supposed to be. The tumor had really deformed that area because the size of it was extremely large. To see everything back where it was supposed to be was just another miracle from God.

She is currently intibated by a ventilator because of all the pain meds she was on for the surgery. She had alot of anesthesia as well....so her body was very stressed tonight. It was hard to see her like that, but we know that she will pull through. The doctors told us that the ventilator is essential because she doesn't have to waste calories to breathe. She has yet to eat anything but glucose water through an IV, and they want to save those calories so they can go to healing and developing her body. Now that the surgery is over, they should start feeding her in the next couple of days. Then she will have more calories to use, and we know that she will be breathing on her own.

I should be able to hold her in another week or two. That will be a moment that I will want to cherish forever, and I am really looking forward to holding her and feeling her skin next to mine.
Right now, Larry and I talk to her and rub her little arms and legs. They are bruised and swollen from all the needles, so we are real careful not to hurt her.

The Ronald McDonald house is allowing us to stay there next week. We will be checking in between 4-8 p.m. Sunday night and I will be there all week. Larry might have to go back to the academy on Wednesday...but we haven't gotten the decision yet from the training staff. I will be able to take a shuttle over to the hospital from the house...so that is a relief.

We left the hospital around 7:15 p.m. so we could get home in time to get rest. It has been a long and very painful day for me. Larry had to get me a wheelchair shortly after we got there because of my pain level. I know that I am doing too much, too fast. This day was the worst for me yet...but then again, I don't have morphine in my system anymore!